Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Prime Factors

One of the unwritten rules of Star Trek is that the Federation will generally be the most advanced, most enlightened organization out there. Oh sure, they might run into super-advanced aliens every so often, but those are mostly one-off adventures, or technologically advanced but socially-stunted groups like the Borg.

But Voyager is all alone in the Delta Quadrant. What if they ran into a planet that was more advanced than the Federation? What if suddenly Voyager was on the other side of the fence? What if they were the backwards aliens, and this other culture were the enlightened ones? And what if this enlightened culture had their own version of the famous Prime Directive, and that rule kept Voyager from getting the help they need?

What a fantastic high-concept Star Trek episode that would make! What a unique twist on an old Roddenberry staple! It is the sort of plot that could really only happen deep in the Delta Quadrant, almost tailor-made for Voyager!

Let's look at how Voyager screws it up, and see if we can rewrite it to be better.

As always this will be a thematic rather than chronological rewrite, so you may want to familiarize yourself with the original plot over at the Memory Alpha Wiki.

The episode opens pretty well. I have a bit of a cultural aversion to the crew gossiping about Harry Kim's love life and the "voraciousness" of Jenny Delaney, but upon reflection that is probably not a problem in the 24th century. After all, in the enlightened future of Star Trek sexual exploits are much more casual, and there is no shame attached to having a voracious sexual appetite, so Jenny Delaney is not being shamed here. Rather, Harry is being gently teased for his naivete and his own prudishness, which I have remarked upon in previous rewrites.

So I broke his femurs!

The scene fits well into my rewritten history. B'Elanna and Seska, the two Maquis, are eating at their own table. The Starfleet crew are eating at their own table. The crews are still quite separate. B'Elanna and Seska joining the conversation is a big moment, and Janeway, watching from afar, remarks on it. A great setup for a Maquis vs. Starfleet episode.

But we do not get that. The conspiracy ends up being B'Elanna and Seska, and Carey (remember him? The Starfleet officer B'Elanna beat out for the Chief Engineer position?) and Tuvok. It does not fall along faction lines at all. So this opening scene is wasted. We're going to change that, and we're going to change it for two reasons. First, my rewrite is going to have the Maquis/Starfleet break be a much stronger theme in the series. Second, it gives me a chance to give Chakotay a much stronger role.

But I will get to that later.

The opening of the Sikarian planet is likewise good. The wardrobe is very Roddenberry-esque, which means it is a fashion disaster, but I think it's a nice nod to Roddenberry's idea of the liberated utopia that he explored a few times in TOS and TNG. The initial presentation of the utopia is shown very well. There are many things I love about it, especially the value they place on stories, and the fact that Eudana asks Harry's permission to repeat his story. The "pleasure" these utopians are seeking is not mere sexual pleasure, but rather pleasure of all the senses and of the mind. Stories are valuable to them, and it makes sense that permission would be sought before freely spreading such a valuable commodity.

Likewise the idea that the crew can freely partake of the "gifts" of the Sikarians is nice. The Federation has a mostly moneyless socialist economy (at least at its base. I have some theories about how latinum and other commodities fit into that, which perhaps I will have a chance to explore in the future). But the Sikarians take that one step further, and will freely give of their abundance even to strangers outside their culture. They value the uniqueness of experiences, not monetary things. How wonderful that is.

Both women and French people should be insulted

Unfortunately this is somewhat undermined by Gathorel "Gath" Labin, the magistrate, being a smarmy Ricardo Montalban-wannabe pick-up artist who keeps touching Janeway without permission and just... ugh. This guy makes Tom Paris look like a restrained gentleman.

Furthermore when he talks about their "Prime Directive", his reasoning seems strange. The Sikarians are concerned that anyone else might misuse their technology. But that is not why the Federation has the Prime Directive. The Federation's Prime Directive protects undeveloped worlds from interference for their own good, and to a more general degree protects any unique culture from undue interference and contamination. Essentially the Prime Directive stops the Federation from being an imperialist, paternalistic power molding other cultures in its image.

That is not the case with the Sikarians... or, rather, that is not the case for Gath. Gath does not care about Voyager's culture. He does not care about Federation culture. He wants the crew to stay on Sikaris, to give up their unique culture, and to adopt the lifestyle of the Sikarians. That is the opposite of the Prime Directive.

Do not the elaborate wire loops in my hair arouse you?

Indeed, the final confrontation between Janeway and Gath shows Gath as a moral inferior, seeking to impose his way of life on everyone else, and furthermore someone intending to use the crew for temporary pleasure and then discard them, presumably as he has many others. It gives Federation culture back the high ground, and reveals the corruption inherent to the Sikarian's society, which we are now supposed to see as decadent and shallow. But if that is the case, then why does Janeway not justify stealing the technology? Gath's turn at the end of the episode makes him a villain, and surely there is no ethical wrong in exploiting a villain to get home. Gath's villainy undermines the entire story.

I am tempted to do a rewrite where Gath is a corrupt magistrate who is suppressing the true utopian ideals of his people, but that is not the way I want to take this. I find the idea of Voyager being on the opposite end of the Prime Directive to be fascinating, and I hate to see it undermined by Gath's intensely creepy wish to turn the crew of Voyager into his personal pleasure pets.

So there's our first change. Gath isn't a creepy sex fiend with no concept of personal space. Instead he, like every other one of his people we meet in the episode, is a utopian. Sikarians seek a joyous life, and they seek to provide that joyous life to others, but at the same time they do not wish to contaminate other cultures, so they have strict rules about not providing technology or undue information beyond a culture's technological level.

Now, we learn at the end of the episode that their fantastic spatial trajector can only work in orbit around their planet, and is incompatible with Federation technology. We will keep that, but it will be unknown for most of the episode. The Sikarians know it. They know their technology cannot send Voyager halfway home like they desire. And Gath tells Janeway that it cannot. But when Janeway demands to know why, he cannot tell her. Their Prime Directive prohibits them from revealing such technological details to a culture that has not developed such technology on their own.

This does not please my wire hair hoops

At first Janeway respects this. After all, she is a good Starfleet officer and understands such rules, though it rankles her to be on the other side of them. But as she starts pressing, she begins to doubt. Why won't they just send Voyager on a trip? Gath cannot give her an answer. The true answer is because the technology is incompatible with Voyager, and retrofitting Voyager to use the technology would violate their Prime Directive. But he cannot properly express this without giving too much away. This is frustrating to Janeway. Gath will also hint that there is another reason not to send Voyager, the same reason his people, despite their vast technology, confine themselves to a single planet. There are dangerous things in the Delta Quadrant. Dangerous powers that the Sikarians long ago learned not to disturb. I would throw that in just as a nice little setup for some of the things Voyager will run into in later seasons.

There is also another important change I would make: It is not Harry who becomes fascinated with the weather technology, strikes up a friendship with Eudana, and tells her his story. It is B'Elanna. I do this for several reasons. First, we've just had a Harry Kim episode and B'Elanna needs some love. Second, B'Elanna is a Maquis, and that will feed into the Maquis/Starfleet divide I want to emphasize in the rewrite. Third, as established for the Science Buddies in order to keep both Harry and B'Elanna useful, Harry is the theoretical one and B'Elanna is the engineering one. She is more suited to figure out technology than Harry, and will focus more on what the technology does than the theory behind it. And finally, someone getting B'Elanna to open up and tell her story appeals to me, and B'Elanna having her story declared as "noble" by Eudana will mean more to her, with her Klingon background, than it would to Harry. So it is B'Elanna who strikes up a friendship with Eudana, and B'Elanna who tells Janeway about the spatial trajector.

Roughly actual dialog?

This brings us to the staff meeting scene, which is excellent as is. We see the characters of Tom Paris, Chakotay, and Harry Kim revealed very clearly. Tom Paris argues that the Prime Directive is wrong sometimes, which as we saw in Time and Again (and especially in my rewrite) is his default attitude toward the Prime Directive. As a man with 20th century ideals, Paris finds the Prime Directive to be insufficient.

Chakotay does not dismiss it like Tom Paris does, but he points out correctly that the Prime Directive has been overridden in the past due to ethical concerns. This is a very important stance for Chakotay, because it articulates the Maquis point of view. To the Maquis, ethics are more important than laws and policies. Their entire conflict with the Federation hinges on the Federation's treaty with the Cardassians being seen as unethical, even if it was politically necessary for the greater good. For Chakotay, rules like the Prime Directive are valid only so long as they are ethical in the moment, and should be overruled if necessary. This sets up Chakotay's sympathy for the Maquis cause later in this rewrite. B'Elanna especially will take note of his stance.

Harry, on the other hand, is still the by-the-book ensign. He defends the Prime Directive, because it is a good rule. A guiding principle of the Federation.

Ultimately B'Elanna breaks the stalemate, because she has another option: Trading their literary library for the tech.

In the original episode Gath acts like he is willing to make the trade, though this turns out to be a lie. In my rewrite, however, things go differently. Gath, being a utopian figure in my rewrite, is not angry at the offer per se, but he firmly says that if his people could give her the technology, they would free of charge. He wishes no exchange for it. He wishes to help them. But he cannot do so without violating their principle of non-interference with a less-developed culture. He will say that he would love to have the Federation's literature library, but that he cannot be bribed with it. Janeway pleads with him to reconsider, and he reluctantly says that he will refer the matter to the other magistrates, but that it will take some time.

They're all that distinguish Humans from Sikarians

This is when B'Elanna is contacted by Eudana once more. Now in the original episode this is because Jaret Otel, the aide, wants to purchase the Federation library with the technology, and essentially have a monopoly on a valuable commodity. This could be a fascinating part of the episode, exploring what such naked capitalism and a monopoly would imply in a utopian society. But Voyager decides to completely ignore that possibility of societal disruption with nary a comment, so I will too.

In the rewrite Jaret Otel and Eudana are part of a faction whose ideals somewhat reflect Chakotay's. They fear their society is stagnating under harsh and unyielding laws, and that the laws should be flexible where there is overriding ethical concern. They believe helping Voyager get home to be ethical and, they admit, they also want the Federation library. Not so Jaret Otel can be the sole provider of stories, but so that the stories can be freely available and enrich their culture. Thus the conflict isn't between capitalistic greed and hedonistic selfishness, but rather between pragmatic adherence to tested rules versus possibly foolish but seemingly ethical exceptions.

Regardless, Seska is for the exchange. B'Elanna, however, is reluctant. It would be a betrayal of her position in Engineering, and the faith Janeway has shown in her. And so what do they do?

Obviously, they go to Chakotay.

Remember all these guys? Your crewmates?

Seriously, why does no one go to Chakotay in the episode? He was the head of the Maquis! In the staff meeting he was sympathetic to bending the rules if it was ethical to do so! Did B'Elanna just forget that Chakotay was her commanding officer? And what about the other Maquis on the ship? What about Ayala, and Kurt Bendera, and Carlson, and Chell, and Kenneth Dalby, and Doyle, and Fitzpatrick, and Gerron, and Mariah Henley, and Hogan, and Jackson, and Jarvin, and Michael Jonas, and Jor, and O'Donnell, and Lon Suder, and Tabor, and Yosa?

So maybe Seska and another Maquis officer approach B'Elanna, and maybe they mention that the Maquis have been talking about it. And B'Elanna suggests they go to Chakotay. And so they do go to Chakotay. And this is where Chakotay really enters the plot. Because in my rewrite he agrees with the Maquis.

Why wouldn't he? Here is an alien faction who, of their own free will, want to help the crew of Voyager. The Prime Directive of an alien race doesn't apply to the Federation, and the ethics of the situation are pretty clear. Using the technology will not harm the Sikarians, and it will greatly help Voyager. The Maquis doctrine of ethics before rules demands that Chakotay support this plan. Still, he is an officer of Voyager, so he says he will go to Janeway, and make their case. Seska will object, saying that she's too bound by regulations, too Starfleet. Chakotay will remind her that they are all part of Voyager. That they are all stranded together, and thus they must act together.

After Chakotay leaves, Seska suggests B'Elanna start running simulations with the technology. B'Elanna is resistant at first, but ultimately agrees.

Remember? Remember when this happened?

The next scene in the original episode is the one with Tuvok and Janeway. In my rewrite, Tuvok is being brought in to a discussion between Janeway and Chakotay. Janeway will ask Chakotay to repeat his argument. Chakotay sums up the Maquis point of view. Tuvok points out, logically, that alien laws cannot be expected to apply to Voyager. Janeway counters that the Federation has its own Prime Directive, and one of its tenets is not interfering with alien cultures. If they force the issue, violating the Sikarians' code, then aren't they failing to respect an alien culture and thus violating the spirit of the Prime Directive? Chakotay counters that is stagnant thinking. He even gets a little upset, arguing that is the same thinking that caused the Federation to abandon colonies on the Cardassian border, forming the Maquis in the first place. Tuvok counters that the Cardassian treaty saved many lives, and repeats the Vulcan proverb that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Chakotay stubbornly says, "My people believe that you cannot sacrifice the well-being of sentient lives just to adhere to Federation rules."

"I realize that," Janeway says. "But this is a Starfleet vessel. Your people will have to learn to conform to Starfleet standards."

"Is that the official word of the Captain?" Chakotay asks sharply. "Because that will not sit well with many in the Maquis. It might not even sit well with some in Starfleet."

Here Tuvok points out that the Magistrate has not yet given his final word on the subject, and the situation might resolve itself. Janeway hopes that is the case. "But Chakotay," she says, "Whatever happens, I need to know I can count on you."

Just imagine a Maquis episode without Chakotay. Ha!

"You can count on me. And I will do my best to help my people understand. But I can only do my best to persuade them. They are not Starfleet. They are Maquis. They follow their hearts as well as their Captain."

On that ominous note Janeway tracks down Magistrate Gath. He tries to stall her, but Janeway keeps pushing him. Finally Gath says that there is little chance the Magistrates will change their minds. He tried to communicate this, but Janeway kept pressing, so he thought it might be best to dissimulate. He now realizes this was foolish, and he apologizes. Janeway, crestfallen, returns to the ship, and laments to Tuvok that Gath never intended to help them. Tuvok asks what she will do, and she says that she will respect the culture of the Sikarians, like a Starfleet Captain should. She just hopes her crew does not mutiny. She returns to the bridge and orders that the crew begin returning to the ship, and that they prepare to continue their journey.

"And our alternative, Captain?" Chakotay asks.

"We will be going the long way, Commander," she says heavily.

In the next scene Chakotay is explaining this to the Maquis, to much unrest, but Chakotay eloquently repeats his assertion that they are on Voyager together, and must work together to survive. After Chakotay returns to the bridge, Seska pleads with B'Elanna to take Jaret Otel's offer, that Janeway is throwing away their chance to get home because of Starfleet nonsense. B'Elanna refuses to betray Chakotay, but Seska points out that Chakotay agrees with them, he's just afraid of a mutiny. But if they take the offer quietly there will be no mutiny, and after they are halfway home everyone will be too overjoyed to punish them. B'Elanna is finally swayed, only to find, as in the original episode, that her security code is locked out. Then Tuvok appears, again as in the episode, and carries out the covert acquisition himself. In this rewrite, however, they do not trade the library data, because pulling the library data would be too easy to trace, and they might get caught. Jaret Otel is disappointed, but he gives them the technology anyway, because he is a utopian and he believes helping Voyager is the right thing to do.

Incompatible parts? Destruction is the only solution!

The next part of the episode is carried out much as the original, with one change: I really hate the old "I can't shut it off!" canard. The spatial trajector is a physical object, and suddenly you cannot unplug it? What? No. B'Elanna manages to unplug it fine, but the trajector is hopelessly incompatible with Starfleet technology, in a way that might take years, if not decades, to fix. Furthermore it only works in conjunction with the planet below, so even if they could fix it they might never find another compatible planet. At the end of my rewrite they still have the trajector for use as a plot device later in the series, but as of now it does them no good.

Also, B'Elanna's snide, "It has something to do with being able to live with yourself," line goes away. Forever. In a hole. That's a horrible line. Instead, as Seska starts preparing to scrub the logs and B'Elanna stops her, B'Elanna says, "We're not Starfleet, but we are Voyager. We gambled on being right, and we failed. We're not going to hide it. We're going to admit what we did, and why."

"I'm not going to take the fall for Starfleet," Seska says coldly.

B'Elanna looks at her. "You won't have to."

Cut to B'Elanna stating that she was the senior officer, and it was her decision, covering for Seska. And Tuvok in turn admitting his own culpability.

Janeway, Star Tyrant, Rides Again!

Janeway's speech to B'Elanna is awful. Utterly, completely awful. It makes no attempt to understand the problem, no attempt to bring the crew together. It's Janeway, Star Tyrant, furious that she cannot flay the woman who dared defy her, and then saying she is "very deeply" disappointed, as if B'Elanna was a child throwing a tantrum. It manages to be fascistic and petulant all at the same time, a horrible combination. No. Let's have the Captain Janeway we saw in Emanations.

Janeway is still harsh. She is Captain, after all, and the chain of command must be maintained. She was betrayed, and she has to come down hard. But rather than simply being angry that anyone would dare question her, she lays out precisely what is wrong. "I have been told recently that Maquis follow their hearts as well as their Captain. But I do not have the luxury of a philosophical debate on the ethics of obedience. We are 70,000 light years from home, and this ship will operate as a whole, as a unit with a clear chain of command, or else we will all perish. If you have concerns you may bring them to me, but once a course is set we must all work together. So from now on your heart is with this ship, and with her Captain, or you will no longer be an officer on this crew. Is that clear?" Still firm, still commanding, but at least acknowledging that she has to bring the crew together, and she cannot simply bully the Maquis into submission.

Her exchange with Tuvok is better in the original, but it still leaves his motives rather confused. Why would Tuvok, of all people, betray Janeway? Some behind the scenes interviews with Tim Russ clear that up somewhat, but in the episode it is very muddled. It does not need much changing, just a bit of clarification.

Logic is a harsh mistress

Tuvok had seen that a mutiny was building among the Maquis. He knew that if Janeway held to her Starfleet principles, she might spark that mutiny. Yet if Janeway abandoned her principles, that would be no less devastating to her and the Starfleet crew. It was an impossible ethical dilemma. He decided that his best, most logical course of action would be to join the conspiracy, a conspiracy that would have happened anyway. That way he breaks the line between Starfleet and Maquis, and shows the Maquis that they are not a separate group, but that there are people in Starfleet who support and sympathize with them, and at the same time he allows Janeway to keep her principles intact. It was, logically, the best thing he could do to bring the crew together and spare his Captain.

Then Janeway explains her position. Tuvok was her rock. He was the one she could trust to keep her logical. She trusted him completely, and she needed that trust. She needed to know, above all else, that he was there for her. She relied on him. But now? Now he is someone who, like the Maquis, might disobey her orders if he found it logical to do so. How could she trust that? I do love that line. "You are my counsel. The one I turn to when I need my moral compass checked. We have forged this relationship for years, and I depend on it. I realize you made a sacrifice for me, but it's not one I would have allowed you to make." That is marvelous. We'll keep that. We'll ditch the "you can use logic to justify anything" bit, though, because no you can't. We'll also ditch the "from now on, bring your logic to me" bit, because that's the kind of thing Janeway, Star Tyrant would say.

Instead, we can see in Tuvok's eyes his realization of just how deeply he has harmed his Captain and friend. "The efficacy of logic is dependent upon the quality of information considered. I did not consider that your trust in me was so vital. My logic was not in error. But I was." Tuvok seems almost incredulous at this. Incredulous at the idea he has made an error. "I swear to you, Captain, as a Vulcan, that from this point forward your ability to trust in me will be foremost in my considerations."

"Oh, Tuvok," she says, sadly. "If only that could wipe out what has already happened. Dismissed."

Aww, just one aimed at the French guy?

The original episode ends on a very down note, with Janeway's faith in her crew shattered. I think she deserves a little bit of a happier ending than that. In my rewrite, she walks back out onto the bridge. Tom Paris tells her they are leaving orbit. She tells Chakotay to get in touch with Gath. "Send his people the entire contents of our library... and our sincerest apologies."

In addition to maintaining the concept of Voyager finding itself on the other side of the Prime Directive, there were three things I wanted to accomplish with this rewrite.

The first was to show the divide between Starfleet and Maquis philosophy, and most importantly to not resolve it. Nothing is resolved, and the dilemma of Starfleet rules vs. Maquis ethics will continue forward. That is one of the best dramatic ideas they set up in the pilot, and I hate how easily it was discarded.

The second was to get rid of Janeway, Star Tyrant. And she is a Star Tyrant in this episode, not only because of how domineering she is to the crew, but how indulgent she is toward herself. Normally I praise Voyager for at least being a rather feminist show with strong woman role models, but in this episode Janeway seems utterly entranced by Gath's creepy-as-hell pick-up-artist routine. The way he's constantly touching and fondling her without any kind of question is bad enough, but the way she seems to respond and moon after him... I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. But the scene where Gath grabs Janeway's jaw especially, I just wanted her to reach up and snap his hand off at the wrist. Because of scenes like that, her determination to go only through Gath to get the technology seems more craven than loyal to Starfleet principles. Besides, at this point isn't she still in a very committed relationship back on Earth? I mean sure, the 24th century might be more forgiving of dalliances and indulgences, but it just does not seem in character for Janeway to be so bewitched by a guy. My rewrite fixes this by making Gath less of a smarmosaur, and having Janeway fixed squarely on the ethical issues.

I would forgive all else if this dialog had actually happened

Further, she worries to Tuvok what might happen if she tells the crew her decision to stick to her principles rather than get them home. "How do I tell them my principles are so important I would deny them that opportunity?" I can understand where she's coming from, but the way she puts it seems very infantalizing. These are 24th century Starfleet crewmembers. They presumably share her same values. This, plus her dressing-down of B'Elanna which once again pulls rank without explaining anything, reinforces the idea that Janeway is more concerned with controlling her crew than leading them. Indeed, given that in the original episode Gath reveals himself as a corrupt hedonist who is lying to Voyager, why doesn't Janeway consider a little deception in return? It seems inconsistent for her to deny the deal she's been offered... if you assume she wants to get back home.

I've mentioned this before, but I think after Eye of the Needle, Janeway stopped actually wanting to return to Earth. Here she's much more interested in enforcing her will on the ship. Her moralizing gives her the excuse to indulge her desire, possibly subconscious, to cling to the ship and command it. This is Janeway, Star Tyrant incarnate.

My rewrite fixes that, making her a leader and a Captain faced with a truly unsolvable moral dilemma. As I said in my Eye of the Needle review, it does keep the idea that she is not convinced they will ever get home, and her choosing to respond to the dilemma as she does reinforces that, but it is more subtle than tyrannical.

Finally, it clarifies the reasons for Tuvok's betrayal. Timm Russ has mentioned, behind the scenes, that in future episodes Tuvok talks about how important protocols are, and how he's always respected the Captain's decisions, which seem to be contradicted by Tuvok's betrayal here. I sought to fix that in the rewrite, giving Tuvok a clearer motivation that shows he still respected the Captain's decision, but simply wished to spare her an impossible choice. Further, the aftermath of his decision hurt Janeway and the trust between them, which explains why he would pay more attention to obeying protocols later so as to regain that trust.

The one thing my rewrite does lose is character development for Carey. But honestly... do any of us really want more character development for Carey?

Next time we'll bust out the foam hair, because the Kazon are coming!

With apologies to whatever mad genius made this meme