Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Time And Again

Oh Gene dammit, another time travel episode? The second one in a row? You mean that there has only been one non-time-travel episode thus far in Voyager, and that was the pilot?

At least this one wasn't written by Brannon Braga. Last week I fixed Parallax by essentially removing all time travel elements from the story. There is no way to do that with this one. The whole plot revolves around time travel, the Prime Directive, and Janeway screwing up.

Luckily, the whole episode turns out to be a dream. Er, I mean an alternate timeline that never happened. So none of it matters! I say luckily, because you don't want it to matter.

Let's try to fix that. Let's try to turn this episode, declared the worst episode of Season 1 by Star Trek Magazine, into an episode that you want to happen... and then fix the ending so it actually does.

As always I will be dealing with my rewrite thematically, rather than chronologically. So if you don't remember this episode, you can read the synopsis over at the Memory Alpha Wiki.

Don't worry Doctor. Soon you'll star in so many episodes
that I will hate you for it.

I said last week that I wanted the Doctor to get some character development. However, except for one brilliant scene that is actually in the original episode, I see no way to do that. So he'll have to be comic relief for another episode.

Other than the Doctor, though, this episode suffers from too many characters. Janeway is the main character, and I'll give her that. It's the third episode, she has not yet really had a moment of heroism (especially since I tone her down in my rewrite of Parallax), so it's time for the Captain to have her own adventure.

The problem is, the writers then try to give every other major cast member their own little bit, and with the Captain getting a captain's share of the action, that means no one else gets much development at all. So my rewrite is going to give Tom and Kes subplots, with a tiny bit of Chakotay and Tuvok around Kes, and marginalize Harry, B'Elanna, and Neelix. Sorry guys.

At least the telepathic one isn't in scoop-necked outfits
all the time. Way to class up from Next Generation, Voyager!
And then she's replaced with Seven, and I take it all back.

For Kes, this is all about her latent psychic powers. Remember, in my rewrite of Caretaker, Kes re-discovering her species' latent psychic abilities is a big part of her reason for joining Voyager. So we're going to give that to her, but in a somewhat more subtle manner. After all, we're not going to give the middle finger to the viewers by making this all a dream afterward, so any abilities Kes discovers will remain with her.

So she is tormented by vague visions of destruction, and that sends her to the bridge. She gets to say something cryptic, like, "I thought I heard the Captain calling me, and screams... so many screams..." Then she witnesses the dead planet.

In the original episode, there is a scene of her crying from the psychic echoes of destruction she experienced. That is good, but let's make it more revealing. Let's have her start out that scene fine, as she tries to explain to Neelix what she experienced... and then she breaks down, and we discover her calm demeanor was just a facade, and the experience was deeply traumatic. That allows Neelix to look like a good boyfriend by running to her, rather than just standing there while she cries for half a scene before finally comforting her. This also gives a good method to cause Neelix to stop doubting her. When he sees how overwrought she is, he realizes what she experienced must have been real, at least to her.

The scene with Kes, Neelix, and the Doctor is brilliant. Keep that in, just the way it is. The Doctor's perfectly reasonable demands that he be kept in the loop if he is to be Chief Medical Officer, and the fact that he has been ignored, is going to bring the conflict regarding his humanity to a head.

Someone should do a "Science Buddies" drawing with
these two. Not me. I can't draw for crap.

Despite how much I like Harry and B'Elanna being science buddies, they're going to get severely cut in my rewrite. No agonizing over how to do things, no long, rather boring speeches with all the technobabble. They're there to tell the audience about the rifts that have trapped Janeway and Tom, to say, "Yes, we can build a thing to open them," and then on the planet to say, "Wear these armbands to keep you from getting sucked into the rift, and we can only do this once at each location." Rather than multiple, time-wasting padding scenes of the group moving around and looking concerned, in my rewrite there's just two. The first is where they find the com badges, melted, and Kes realizes that she can sense Janeway's presence. That bit is good.

Then we focus on Janeway and Tom for a bit, and the engineering team is not seen again until the mysterious portal shows up at the climax. Then we flash back to them, and the device is active. Tuvok says, "It is highly illogical that the Captain would be at the flashpoint. The Prime Directive would compel her not to interfere." Kes replies, "She's here! I know she's here!" And Chakotay gets to tap into his own empathetic nature and spiritualist beliefs by saying, "Some things can't be explained by logic. I know it's a longshot, but Kes is the only chance we've got of saving the Captain."

Now, let's deal with this episode's main characters, Janeway and Tom. First we have to ask: Why is Tom even there? Why did Tom beam down to the planet with the away team in the first place? Why not Harry, who's far more engineering savvy?

This is about as pre-warp as it gets on Star Trek

Here's why: It's a late pre-warp civilization, and Tom is an expert on late pre-warp civilizations.

Think about it. Tom Paris is someone who does not fit in at Starfleet. He's sarcastic, even when he follows orders he seems to do so reluctantly, and he likes cutting up for the fun of it. I said in my Caretaker review that I would get into why, and that time is now.

Add Tom's bad boy nature to his later shown obsession with old movies, old cars, and other 20th century paraphernalia, and you start to realize why Tom dropped out of Starfleet, and why Tom is a rebel: Tom idealizes pre-Federation Earth.

Tom is, essentially, a throwback to the ideals of the 20th century. He does not see himself as part of The Federation's grand, utopian society, he sees himself as an individualist, and an iconoclast. Think back to Caretaker, to the scene in Quark's in DS9. Harry has no concept of the monetary value of Lobi crystals. Why? Because Starfleet, and the human race at home, doesn't use money. But Tom knows. Tom has clearly been to marketplaces all over the area. Why would a member of Starfleet know about that? Because Tom idealizes the capitalistic 20th century, with its principles of private ownership of production, of entrepreneurs, and to a certain extent to colorful scam artists and con men.

Tom's Utopia: A smoky bar, a hot cue, and an easy mark.

Like most people who idolize the past, Tom does not dwell in all the bad stuff that led humanity to abandon those old ways in favor of utopia. Instead, he focuses on the adventure, the freedom, and the independence of it all. Tom never fit in at Starfleet, because Tom rejected the Federation's utopia.

Now that explains his character. That explains why he bucks authority, why he likes fast ships and racing them, and why he occasionally makes stupid mistakes just to separate himself from the Federation's sanitized perfection.

It also explains why he is brought along on this mission. This is a pre-warp civilization, and with most of the others on the ship with historical knowledge dead, Tom is their best expert on pre-warp societies.

Luckily, this sort of police brutality toward unarmed,
peaceful protesters never happens in the United States.

By shaving Harry and B'Elanna's time in the episode, we get to see Tom having a bit more fun. Show him actually scamming someone to get some local currency, and spending it on their new clothes. Show him explaining to Janeway the finer points of the capitalist economy. Have him sympathize with the protesters, because they represent the rebellion against authority and the grassroots freedom movements that he so admires.

This is contrasted with Janeway, who is dyed-in-the-wool Starfleet. She is not exactly prejudiced against other cultures, but they go against her grain. She is not used to them. She is glad the Federation moved beyond capitalism and individual ownership of production, and her natural authoritarianism causes her to distrust the protesters and assume that they will be the ones to cause the explosion.

This fixes the problem of Tom being just a hanger-on in this episode.

I don't normally advocate violence against children, but...

Oh, and we're going to get rid of Boxey. I mean Wilykat. I mean Wesley. I mean Latika, the demon-obsessed child. What point does he serve? Just to make you feel sympathy that he's going to die in an explosion? I was rooting for it, so he'd be killed off. The episode loses nothing by just getting rid of him. So that's what we'll do.

Now, for Janeway. Why is it that the terribleness of all these episodes always seems to hinge around Janeway? But this time it's not really her fault, it's the plot itself. The plot itself is just... wrong.

All right, so once Janeway and Tom find themselves back in time, their primary goal is to get back to the future without breaking the Prime Directive. That's fine. That's actually good. But I'm not sure the Voyager writers understand the purpose of the Prime Directive. In fact, given future episodes, I am pretty sure they do not.

When Tom brings up that the Prime Directive would result in an entire race being wiped out, Janeway does not answer his argument, but instead pulls rank on him. But the answer is obvious if you think about it. The planet is not alone in that region of space. Indeed, it is fairly highly populated. If that civilization survives, and develops warp technology, they will have a lasting impact on all the other civilizations around it. If the Prime Directive was only concerned with the development of a single civilization, then it would be stupid to let a technological disaster wipe them out. But the Prime Directive also deals with the well-being of surrounding planets.

This would be a violation of the prime directive, if it
were not a photoshop.

That needs to be pointed out to the audience, or a lot of them are going to assume that Tom is right and that Janeway is just being, well... Janeway, Star Tyrant. And this time, surprisingly enough, she's not being a Star Tyrant at all.

The conflict between Janeway and Tom would also show off more clearly Janeway's Starfleet principles, vs. Tom's 20th century principles. In the 20th century, interfering with other cultures was not considered verboten. Indeed, America did it, and does it, all the time. So Tom does not feel the moral need to follow the Prime Directive like Janeway does.

So rather than a half-baked fight between "The Prime Directive Means Murder" Janeway vs. "The Prime Directive Doesn't Apply" Tom, instead we have a legitimate ideological difference between pro-Prime Directive Janeway and anti-Prime Directive Tom. And it is that deeper conflict that Janeway overrides by pulling rank, while leaving the core ideological difference between them to remain for future episodes. This sets up the ability for Voyager to examine one of the core tenets of Star Trek, which would make for some great plots, just as the later Enterprise episodes that explored the consequences of interfering with alien cultures were great plots.

Or 20-something college dropouts. Or just slackers.

In addition, I would love for the parallels between the protesters and 90s grassroots protest groups to be more obvious. Janeway assumes, as many modern people assume, that taking radical action to create change always creates a worse situation than before. Janeway assumes that the protesters are to blame for the disaster, because of course they are secretly eco-terrorists. She is uninterested in what their true motivations are, while Tom is.

After it becomes obvious that their presence has stepped up the timetable, part of her argument can be a plea for different methods. Would not going through proper channels fit their plans as well? Must they use violence? They would protest that they have no intention of harming anyone, but Janeway would reply that they have no idea what unforseen consequences might come of their plan. This way you show Janeway's preference for authority and hierarchy, without making her seem tyrannical. It is not that she refuses to accept other points of view. It is that her own point of view is very Starfleet. She likes rules and regulations, because it gives a society structure and curbs disastrous behavior. This is a far more sophisticated approach than Janeway, Star Tyrant.

Incidentally, just as an aside, was it obvious to everyone the moment they talked about moving up the timetable that it was Janeway, not the protesters, who actually caused the explosion? Because that was extremely obvious to me. Maybe I just watch too much sci-fi.

I'll save your lives if I have to murder you all to do it!

Anyway, she finally breaks the Prime Directive in the hopes of stopping them, but they don't believe her. And now here's another change I would make to the plot: After that failed to work, Janeway wants to stop interfering. She says they've already caused far too much damage, and they have no way of knowing how their actions might affect the outcome. Tom points out that if they are responsible for the explosion, then they must stop it by any means necessary. Janeway thinks about it, then, with new determination, she agrees.

Why do I change it this way? Because in the original, Janeway comes across as a hypocrite. She preaches the Prime Directive, but then immediately abandons it without seeming to think about it. This should be a weighty decision. By showing her in conflict, by showing her wrestling with a difficult decision, she seems more like a captain. It's still her decision. She's still the heroine. But we give that decision more weight.

Mmm whatcha saaaay... mmmm that you only meant well...

Tom still gets shot outside the complex, saving Janeway instead of Latika. In addition, he is shot by one of the guards, not by a protester. The protesters use violence, but make a point of using non-lethal violence to knock the guards out. Tasers or something of that nature. Janeway checks to make sure Tom is all right, and he says it's not lethal, so she runs after the protesters. She confronts them, convinced they are planting a bomb... and they reveal that all they are doing is taking readings of the polaric generators, to prove that the polaric energy is inherently dangerous, and cannot be operated safely as their government has claimed.

Janeway realizes there is no possible way that this action caused the explosion... and then she turns, with horror, to see the time rift opening, and realizes that she is to blame. It was her crew, creating a closed time loop.

"But isn't this one of the movies where causality is not inevitable?"
"Yeah, but they'll have changed that by the next one."

Now here's another aside. I love closed time loops... when they are done well. Babylon 5 and the original Terminator movie are two excellent examples of brilliant plots that contain closed time loops. The paradox of the effect creating the cause is one I personally enjoy. But you cannot use closed time loops as a Deus Ex Machina, and you cannot use them gratuitously. Doctor Who is occasionally guilty of this. This episode uses the closed time loop as a "get out of plot free" card, which insults the viewer by making it all a dream. But the closed time loop could work, if the closed time loop is actually the threat. Here's how I would do it.

Janeway is the best at not learning anything.

The portal opens. Janeway gasps in horror. "It was us all along," she says. "My crew trying to rescue me... that causes the explosion!"

In that instant, the leader of the protesters realizes that Janeway was telling the truth about being from the future. Janeway reaches for her phaser, but he wrestles it away. "You can't fire a weapon in here!" he says. "It will detonate the polaric energy and kill us all!"

"If I don't close the rift, it will intersect with the polaric energy and we'll be dead anyway!" Janeway says. "I'll have to think of something else!"

Janeway thinks. "If the energy was fired from within the rift, then the collapse would contain it. But the force of the collapse would kill whomever caused it."

He holds up the phaser. "Then tell me how to fire your gun."

"That is admirable. But this disaster was caused by my crew. I am the Captain. It is my responsibility."

"I've been ready to sacrifice anything for the safety of my planet since the day I joined the protesters."

"We're both leaders. We both understand the sacrifices." Janeway holds out her hand. "And this is mine."

He nods, and hands the phaser over. Janeway steps into the rift, phaser at the ready.

It's a cheap joke, but then it was a cheap plot.

On the other side, B'Elanna and Harry are operating the device, with Tuvok, Chakotay, and Kes. They go through the dialog I mentioned earlier.

"It is highly illogical that the Captain would be at the flashpoint. The Prime Directive would compel her not to interfere."

"She's here! I know she's here!"

"Some things can't be explained by logic. I know it's a longshot, but Kes is the only chance we've got of saving the Captain."

B'Elanna says, "Chakotay, we have something moving through the rift."

And then Kes widens her eyes, and says, "Captain... Captain no!" And she dives into the opening rift.

There is mayhem. "The rift is collapsing!" Harry warns. And just before it does, Kes leaps out with her arms around Janeway. There is a burst. A flash of bright light. And the Voyager crew find themselves inside the intact polaric reactor building.

Suddenly Tom Paris, a sling around his injured arm, pops his head out of a ventilation duct.

"Captain! This way! Quickly!"

Back at the protester's base, Tom reveals that after there was no explosion, the protesters helped him hide out until he knew the Voyager crew would be at the polaric plant, then they snuck in and got them out before they were discovered by the authorities.

Janeway sagely tells the leader and the others who were with them that they must never, ever reveal their presence to the rest of their world.

"Our interference today almost killed you all. You cannot risk the consequences should we further interfere with your planet's natural development."

I can't help it. This is always how I picture Janeway.

"I understand," says the leader. "Besides, we'll have our hands full. Even with the data, it will be a long struggle getting polaric energy banned by the provincial government. But with this information, I am sure we'll be able to succeed. But what about you? When we finally develop starships of our own, will your Federation be there to greet us?"

"I don't know. We're a long way from home, after all. But as you are exploring your frontiers, we are exploring ours. Maybe some day, our descendents will meet somewhere."

"It gives me hope, knowing there's a future to head for."

Janeway smiles, and the Voyager crew beam up.

In a final epilogue, Janeway thanks Kes for saving her life, and asks Kes how she knew she needed help. Kes says, "I just knew." She has gained a sort of vague telepathic danger sense, but it is still uncontrolled and weak.

Janeway says, "Set a course, Mister Paris. Let's head for our own future... back home."

The advantage to this rewrite is that Janeway has a consistent character. The original episode really only makes sense if Janeway's "Starfleet principles" are hypocritical and self-serving. This way, Janeway is shown as someone who is truly dedicated to Starfleet principles and rules, yet who still has the leadership skill to make the hard decisions when they are necessary.

Especially important is her act of sacrifice at the end. This shows that Janeway is willing to sacrifice herself, not just for her ship, but to protect strangers. This will be vital in creating a pattern that will lead her to reject ways to return home if those ways result in her harming other cultures. This makes those instances evidence of her strong character, and not evidence that she's a Star Tyrant who does not actually want to return home.

Janeway is not an irredeemably bad captain. She's a strong figure, a momma bear that protects her ship like she would a family. Part of the goal of these rewrites will be to emphasize that admirable protective instinct, while removing the tyranny that goes with it.

I've got my work cut out for me.

It's a bit of a spoiler... but yeah, this happens a lot.