Every modern Star Trek series has an episode where the show really hits its stride, where it finds itself. For TNG I would argue it was in the second season, around the time of "A Matter of Honor". DS9 I would argue was the first season finale, "In The Hands of the Prophets". And by all rights, "State of Flux" should have been when Voyager hit its stride.
I'm not going to lie. This is a fantastic episode. It's well done, and it shows the characters in all their complexity. It should have set the tone for the entire show. Too bad that did not happen.
There are not going to be many rewrites for this one. A few nitpicks, but mostly talking about the ramifications of this show that should have resonated throughout the series. As always this will be thematic rather than chronological, so you might want to refresh your memory of the episode over at Memory Alpha.
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Sunday, September 24, 2017
Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Prime Factors
One of the unwritten rules of Star Trek is that the Federation will generally be the most advanced, most enlightened organization out there. Oh sure, they might run into super-advanced aliens every so often, but those are mostly one-off adventures, or technologically advanced but socially-stunted groups like the Borg.
But Voyager is all alone in the Delta Quadrant. What if they ran into a planet that was more advanced than the Federation? What if suddenly Voyager was on the other side of the fence? What if they were the backwards aliens, and this other culture were the enlightened ones? And what if this enlightened culture had their own version of the famous Prime Directive, and that rule kept Voyager from getting the help they need?
What a fantastic high-concept Star Trek episode that would make! What a unique twist on an old Roddenberry staple! It is the sort of plot that could really only happen deep in the Delta Quadrant, almost tailor-made for Voyager!
Let's look at how Voyager screws it up, and see if we can rewrite it to be better.
As always this will be a thematic rather than chronological rewrite, so you may want to familiarize yourself with the original plot over at the Memory Alpha Wiki.
Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Emanations
At its best, Star Trek inspires us. It takes a complex issue that we wrestle with in our world and points us toward a solution, sheering away the struggles and conflicts of our time and presenting us a utopian vision of the future.
This is not one of those episodes.
But at its second-best Star Trek illuminates an aspect of humanity, using the medium of science-fiction to explore it to a degree quite impossible in a more realistic literary style. And Emanations does this beautifully. So beautifully that I am at a loss. How do you rewrite something that is good? I mean really, really good. The best episode I have yet covered in Voyager.
Two ways. First, you nitpick. And I will be doing a bit of that at the end. Second, you hold it up as a template for how Voyager should have been, if it had been a better show. I have been saying all along that Voyager had the potential to be a fantastic series, and no episode thus far reveals that better than Emanations.
As always, this rewrite will be thematic rather than chronological, so you may want to re-familiarize yourself with the plot over at the Memory Alpha Wiki.
This is not one of those episodes.
But at its second-best Star Trek illuminates an aspect of humanity, using the medium of science-fiction to explore it to a degree quite impossible in a more realistic literary style. And Emanations does this beautifully. So beautifully that I am at a loss. How do you rewrite something that is good? I mean really, really good. The best episode I have yet covered in Voyager.
Two ways. First, you nitpick. And I will be doing a bit of that at the end. Second, you hold it up as a template for how Voyager should have been, if it had been a better show. I have been saying all along that Voyager had the potential to be a fantastic series, and no episode thus far reveals that better than Emanations.
As always, this rewrite will be thematic rather than chronological, so you may want to re-familiarize yourself with the plot over at the Memory Alpha Wiki.
Friday, September 2, 2016
In Defense of Star Trek's Liberalism (Or: The Non-Federalist Federation)
It has been a while since I have posted here, but I felt compelled to revisit Star Trek. Timothy Sandefur has an article over at The Federalist called "How Star Trek Explains The Decline Of Liberalism", and it is not only factually incorrect but it is indicative of the attitudes that are destroying modern society.
There, I think that is a pretty eye-catching opening statement.
There, I think that is a pretty eye-catching opening statement.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Ex Post Facto
Let’s get this out of the way right off: I love noir.
I love craggy, tough-as-nails gumshoes in battered fedoras and rumpled suits, rubbing their five-o-clock shadows while drinking scotch and talking about the mean streets. I love morally ambiguous detective stories where you’re not supposed to like the hero, you’re just supposed to respect him, and where his detective skills relied less on Holmesian deduction and more on telling when someone was lying, being fast with a gun, keeping the cops at bay, and never, ever trusting the dame.
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| It's not sexist when Bogey does it. That's the rule, right? |
And so when I talk about Ex Post Facto, Voyager’s obvious tribute to noir, I am predisposed to like it. But right from the start it’s an awkward mix. Roddenberry’s future is bright, clean, and idealistic. Noir is the opposite of all those things. It’s like if someone took Superman, a beacon of hope, truth, and justice, and made him a distrusted, hated outcast who eventually had to turn to destruction and violence to save a morally ambiguous people from a morally evil villain and… oh yeah.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Doctor Whosday: Telepathetic Politics
In reviewing stories from the 60s, as I have been both here and on Marvel Mondays, certain themes come up again and again. One of the biggest is the contrast between democracy and communism. The freedom and individuality of the West is championed, while the collective juggernaut of the East is castigated.
"The Sensorites" begins much the same way. The brave, British astronauts from Democratic Earth are menaced by the Sensorites, insidious aliens who, while cowardly, have the ability to control the minds of humans. They have a collective society where each Sensorite is given their task, and they are in a cold war with the astronauts, refusing to let them leave peacefully yet also not killing them, yet. They are the communist threat.
And yet, in a bold move for 1964, "The Sensorites" takes a very different, and in many ways more modern, turn. And that is to be commended. But is it enough to overcome the weaknesses of the story? That is a good question.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Marvel Monday: Terrorists, Communists, and Carnies
In September of 1962 Fantastic Four became monthly. Added to the monthly titles of Journey into Mystery and Tales to Astonish (both now linked to Superheroes), and the bimonthly Incredible Hulk, Marvel Comics was starting to look like a true superhero lineup. And that started with the return of a familiar face in a new superhero context.
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| You know he's a superhero this time, because the bad guys are Communists. |
Friday, April 18, 2014
Apocryphail Phriday: Knee Deep In The Dead
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| I haven't seen the movie with the Rock. But it had to be better than this. |
It remains a textbook example of how never, ever to write a video game novel.
The problem is not the hard-on for the Marine Corps that makes Michael Bay look like a weed-smoking flower child. Nor is the problem the confused gender politics and inability to decide whether the heroes are snarky nerds or grunting jarheads.
The problem is not even the network of cliches that renders this story completely and utterly unengaging.
The problem is that this novel, this novel about the most badass Marine in the world mowing down an entire army of demons on the moons of Mars, is terrifyingly, life-suckingly dull.
Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull from Dullsville with a side order of dull and something dull on top.
Let's jump right in, shall we?
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Eye of the Needle
I consider this episode to be typical of the problem with Star Trek: Voyager. A good setup, an interesting and engaging crisis, particularly excellent acting, and a muddled ending that seems to undermine everything.
Plus, this episode makes absolutely no sense less than halfway through the first season. I mean, no sense.
Plus, it's a "Voyager may get to go home!" episode. Which automatically means the audience is just waiting for some deus ex machina excuse for why it won't work, which is what happens with every single "Voyager may get to go home!" episode to the point where I can barely remember any other distinctions between them.
At least this one has Romulans, and I love me some Romulans.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Doctor Whosday: Fixed Points and Macehuitl Fights
It is always a risky thing, creating a story set in a foreign culture. The typical writer for western television grew up in the west, so while foreign cultures like European nations, or the United States, Canada, or the UK if you are not a native, can be difficult, they are at least similar to the writer's experience.
But when a western writer tries to write about a culture that rose up in isolation from the shared Roman Empire history of the West, be it Eastern culture or Hindu culture or African culture, that writer is often having to learn everything from scratch. If the writer does not care enough to do the research, this can lead to glaring stereotypes and errors.
This is doubly true for stories involving Pre-Columbian America, which does not have any shared history with Europe, Africa, or Asia (unless you subscribe to the African Origins theory, but as that is not the current scientific consensus we won't get into that here.)
So when I say that "The Aztecs", the sixth Doctor Who serial, does a magnificent job of realizing pre-Columbian Aztecs, both the good and the bad, and creates one of the most interesting and thoughtful Doctor Who plots yet seen, or indeed seen since, I want my readers to have a sense for just how impressive that is.
This is one of my favorites, and I may gush. You've been warned.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Marvel Monday: Heroes At Last!
Despite the fact that the only hero in the Marvel universe thus far has been Bruce Banner, August of 1962 saw two new entries into the ranks. And one of them is a bona fide hero! The other isn't yet, but he will be by the end of his issue and the uttering of the words, "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility."
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| Why did he ever lose the underarm-netting? |
Friday, April 11, 2014
Apocryphail Phriday: Fray
I'm sort of cheating twice with this one. First, word of god says that today's subject is actually canon, and it has been referred to in the comic books that followed the TV Series and the series itself. Second... it's actually not that bad. In fact some things are really awesome. But then there are some things that just... yeesh.
Anyway, this is Joss Whedon's Fray.
Fray was an 8-comic miniseries published by Dark Horse, and was the first Buffy: The Vampire Slayer comic actually written by Joss Whedon. In a crapsack future version of New York City, the supernatural and magic has been gone from the world for so long that everyone has forgotten about it. But in the shadows the Vampires are returning. And Melaka Fray, a petty thief, discovers that she is the heir to the legacy of the Slayers. Which mostly manifests as her having all the worst problems of Superman and Goku.
Welcome to the 23rd century, ladies and gentlemen!
Anyway, this is Joss Whedon's Fray.
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| It's like Buffy meets 5th Element meets Hellboy meets Shadowrun meets... |
Welcome to the 23rd century, ladies and gentlemen!
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: The Cloud
Normally I am all in favor of character development episodes. I think there needs to be more character development in most television series, especially action and/or sci-fi series. So by all rights I should love this episode, which has the flimsiest of plots stringing together a series of vignettes that develop the character of the main cast.
The problem is, this needs to be good character development. And oh boy, is it not.
So as Voyager plunges headlong into the "It's actually a life-form!" plot that should be enjoyable, but somehow isn't, let's try to rewrite these terrible characters into something better.
Especially Chakotay. For Gene's sake, writers, what were you thinking?
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Doctor Whosday: Six Episodes, Five Keys, Four Quests, Three Companions, Two Hangers-On, One Sexual Assault, No Joy
Fresh off his success creating The Daleks, which catapulted Doctor Who into television history, writer Terry Nation wanted to do a historical story. When that fell through, the producers asked him to create another extremely marketable villain, like the Daleks had been. It was with this directive in mind that Nation wrote "The Keys of Marinus".
The serial was a series of quests for the titular keys, with each episode encompassing another adventure, with another key as the object. This plot would be replayed on a season-wide scale during the excellent "Key to Time" season, with Tom Baker's Fourth Doctor.
Unlike that story, The Keys of Marinus is crap. Welcome to Doctor Whosday!
Monday, April 7, 2014
Marvel Monday: Ouch! My Science!
Look, I get it. Science and comic books are like oil and water. Comics are a world where FTL is easily attainable, where radiation may as well be magic, and Nuclear Bombs Are Minor Inconveniences.
But sometimes the suspension of disbelief is snapped so completely that you have to wonder what kind of drugs the writers were on. This being July of 1962, I'm going to guess LSD. Welcome to Marvel Monday.
But sometimes the suspension of disbelief is snapped so completely that you have to wonder what kind of drugs the writers were on. This being July of 1962, I'm going to guess LSD. Welcome to Marvel Monday.
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| This is almost entirely unlike the actual cover. There was no disco in 1962. |
Friday, April 4, 2014
Apocryphail Phriday: The Return
In 1994 the first Star Trek: The Next Generation movie was released: Star Trek Generations. And while some fans were willing to forgive the movie's glaring flaws in order to celebrate the pairing of Captain Kirk and Captain Picard, the flaws still existed. Perhaps the worst flaw is that Kirk dies by having a bridge dropped on him, while fighting a minor villain who just existed for the movie.
It was a terrible way to send out one of the galaxy's most beloved heroes. William Shatner apparently agreed, because he pitched an idea for the second movie, one which involved Kirk coming back from the dead and getting a far more appropriate send-off. It was doomed to failure, of course. The writing staff, quite rightly, decided that no matter how bad Generations was, the torch was passed to the Next Generation crew now, and they should have their own adventures.
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| All of the recycled plot. None of the emotional depth. |
Since Paramount didn't want his plot William Shatner decided to write a novel of it. This spun off into the "Shatnerverse", an alternate timeline version of Star Trek. By all rights this should have been awesome. The return of one of science fiction's most enduring and beloved heroes, written with the sort of insider's perspective that only William Shatner could provide.
Let's see why it didn't work. This is William Shatner's "The Return".
Thursday, April 3, 2014
1,000 Views!
Today The Jeffrey's Tube hit a milestone. A milestone of 1,000 views!
Now those of you who are internet savvy may be saying, "Views? But that means almost nothing. That could be 1,000 separate people, or one person who just keeps visiting the same pages."
Well yes. But I only just got analytics on this site working properly, so views is all I have. And I hit 1,000, and I'm very proud of that, and STOP KILLING ALL MY DREAMS!
Thanks to all my readers (especially my Russian readers who apparently got linked here from a Battletech forum. I hope you're enjoying all the Cold War comics and Doctor Who serials!)
Keep sharing the links, and keep the dream alive.
Now those of you who are internet savvy may be saying, "Views? But that means almost nothing. That could be 1,000 separate people, or one person who just keeps visiting the same pages."
Well yes. But I only just got analytics on this site working properly, so views is all I have. And I hit 1,000, and I'm very proud of that, and STOP KILLING ALL MY DREAMS!
Thanks to all my readers (especially my Russian readers who apparently got linked here from a Battletech forum. I hope you're enjoying all the Cold War comics and Doctor Who serials!)
Keep sharing the links, and keep the dream alive.
Jeffrey Rewrites Voyager: Phage
Some Voyager episodes are so bad that they are legendary. Some Voyager episodes would be good, if only they had fixed one or two fundamental problems. But some Voyager episodes should have been good, but for some reason they just weren't. Perhaps the acting was just a little sub-par. Perhaps there were some minor problems that built up. But for whatever reason, what should have been a decent show becomes mediocre at best.
Phage is one of those episodes. It is difficult to pin down just why Phage is mediocre. It should be great. And yet... somehow it is not. Oh, it's not bad, which in Voyager puts it in the top tier, but it's not the great show that it should be. Because the basic plot is solid, it will not require much to turn this into a classic Trek episode. Let's see what we can do.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Doctor Whosday: The Greatest Story Never Told
Being a Doctor Who fan has many frustrations. We have to deal with the neutering of the show by Mary Whitehouse and her ilk. We have to deal with certain stories being, how shall I put this... less than fantastic. In fact some of them are downright awful. We have to deal with continuity being an old rag to be beaten up, dirtied, abused, then torn to shreds, and the very word "canon" to be meaningless.
But perhaps most frustratingly, we have to deal with missing episodes.
There are a number of early Doctor Who episodes that were destroyed by the BBC during regular purges of old material. Of these, some of them have been recovered thanks to copies that were sold to foreign television stations, copies made by private enthusiasts, and other such discoveries. However, many First and Second Doctor stories remain missing, and as time goes on the chance of more being found diminishes.
The very first Doctor Who serial with currently missing parts is missing in its entirety. It was also perhaps the greatest First Doctor story ever produced. The serial is known by the name "Marco Polo".
Monday, March 31, 2014
Marvel Monday: Everybody Loves Namor
In May of 1962 Marvel launched their second title exclusively taking place within the Marvelverse, and brought back a Golden Age hero, forever tying the Marvel universe into the Golden Age continuity.
And one of these comics actually was pretty good! Let's look at that one first.
And one of these comics actually was pretty good! Let's look at that one first.
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| Hulk smash preconceptions of comic book protagonists! |
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